It’s unfortunate, but we’re creatures of habit and we’ll hold onto our convictions until we’re literally forced to stop…. This is a very personal bit of writing that I am doing but it will pretty much touch on everything that falls under self-improvement, growth, peace-love and of course PoS!tIvE EnErGY. We use a whole lot of energy trying to hold everything together in our lives but what I have come to realize in the last couple of months is that not everything is meant to be in your life at that particular time. Simplify your life and the right things will remain in your life. The right people. You are who you attract.

We spend a whole lot of time thinking we are living when we are actually dead inside. Yeah that’s real insightful but what does that actually mean. When does one actually acknowledge the point they start living or remain in the world of the living but exist as an extra in the walking dead.

Nancy Mulligan… What I define as a Nancy Mulligan isn’t just Mr Ed Sheeran’s grandmother but the person in your life you don’t particularly deem a love interest because of the circumstances in your life. More often than not this one person is always around you but remains in the peripheral sections of your heart. They remain in the friendzone because it is the right thing to do.

The friend zone is a relatively modern phenomena. Traditionally guys and girls restricted their friendships to the same-sex. Any fraternizing with the opposite gender was usually a foray into a romantic relationship. The blurring of boundaries and genders over the last fifty years ( made up statistics ) or so has resulted in many healthy and long-lasting friendships… and that has to be good, right? Right… You know the chest pains you feel when said person is around another person who you consider a threat.. Or the chest pains you feel when you listen to the Calum Scott rendition of the Robyn classic “Dancing on my own”

What if… Now just stay with me… What if… Your growth trajectory has been influenced by your Nancy Mulligan. What if…? What now… ? What’s one to do… Option 1- Take the, “When Harry Met Sally” approach… Option 2- Die a little inside and forever hold your peace…

There’s nothing worse for a guy than being in the ‘friend zone.’ The friend zone is an urban legend, though. Invented years ago by one of those beautiful southern belles (Mount Pleasant, Harare) who were simply too nice to tell the ugly guy friend that she wasn’t interested. Instead she decided to say he was “too good of a friend” and that she “didn’t want the relationship to end and be without a friend.” It’s almost always bullshit. (perhaps one day I will explain this in detail…)

Anyway, so… Here you are… On your way to self-improvement and you come to concerning realisation that this person is actually the very reason behind your balance. This person who for so long was looked at in a certain light is the reason why you are in your happy place.. This person is… is your Nancy Mulligan…

It’s important to understand it’s your choice to remain in the friend zone. No-one can force another person to fall for them romantically, despite all the advice telling you the opposite. Either the attraction is mutual or it isn’t. There should be no blame assigned. But what happens when it evolves and spirals out of control.. What then?

It is hard to give up on a relationship that you hoped would last forever. The trouble is, if you stay as you are it *will* last forever. You are wasting your precious time waiting for someone to see you in a different way than they do. If you’ve tried everything you can think of to encourage them to think of you as more than a friend and it hasn’t worked, then you have to put yourself first for once and exit that friendship zone quickly.

Sidebar… The soundtrack to any Woody Allen movie would be ideal as you read this and shake your head repeatedly at how accurately this mirrors your life…

Nancy Mulligan

So… Nancy Mulligan, why have you been placed in our lives… ? What is your purpose? Are you a figment of our imagination? Are you … Are you for real..? Will you disappear the moment I reach out…? Will you stay? Will you be my Nancy Mulligan…. sigh… You are light headed and tingly all over. It is either you are in love or you have small pox…

Small Pox it is then….