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The Better Man Project 183 is going well. Its had its challenges here and there but I am soldiering on and learning a lot about myself.

The ultimate goal is to begin to trust the decision-making process. How one goes about getting here is a personal choice really but I have opted to deal with it, as and when the dark moments come. Dark moments in this case being flashbacks of situations that are painful or bring about shame or deeply rooted sense of disappointment. The more of these moments you can actually handle thinking about and dealing with, the more you begin to see the error of your ways and build the confidence in your decision-making process.

I like to think everyone has moments when you remember something, cringe and then just shake it off or conveniently sweep it under the carpet. In order for the project to work, the carpet is going out to the cleaners and all the emotional debris will have to be dealt with.

Many a time we find ourselves not particularly too impressed with the bloke/lass you see in the mirror. When you can’t recognise or respect your own reflection is the very moment you are supposed to re-evaluate your life. It comes down to one thing, you are glamourising reality and adding instagram filters to your life. Life is not very complicated I have come to realise. It comes down to what you feel is acceptable and not acceptable. Decision Making in general. We are genetically predisposed to know what is right and what is wrong and its only when we over ride this disposition that we start to live a lie. The truth becomes blurry and eventually your mirror image is not a clear and just representation of your real life.

I challenged myself on this journey  to dig deep and deal with the brutal honesty of the moment and the jagged teeth of reality. Ladies and gentlemen, we are a flawed species and we do make mistakes. The magic behind healing and living better is how we manage the mistakes we make. Be true to thyself and be fearless enough to embrace the truth.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

This is not to say we should be afraid of trying and living our everyday lives. Live life and learn from every experience. The greatest mistake you can ever make in life is the habitual fear of making a mistake.

Now I started documenting this journey so  that I can refer to it when I get where I need to be and if at all anybody else is in my situation then they can benefit from my journey. This is in no way an attempt to become a self-righteous douche pendejo dude who floods the internet with words of wisdom that ultimately come from soapy movies.

I am flawed and am a work in progress. My aim is to become even half the man my mother desired me to be. Let me not bore you any further. My parting words are , celebrate the little victories and leave the foolish to seek happiness in the distance.

A belated happy mothers day to all the women of virtue and honour that work tirelessly to raise their children. I salute you all.

My sentiments, my truth, my journey… BMP183

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